My Fantastic Friday

its not because its the weekend

not because it is a warm december day

not because i have my health..

it is because of this lady - period

she is amazing

she is my life

my love 

my heart

my future

thank you babe - for everything you are 

for everything you do

A RoadMap

Where, Where to begin...

So much hurt, so many mistakes, Too many wrong choices

How to express what i know inside of me to you?

It starts with touch

a hug

kiss

caress

It continues with a look

longing

empathetic

next with words

I am sorry - nothing more is needed when it is pure

All of these can be aided by the written word - but none may be replaced by it

New Girl

New Girl

She is so stunning – so sweet

More than I could ever dream to meet-

-but I will not squander the opportunity!

I somehow managed to turn your head,

By some miracle…

And now I need to earn my luck

Pay off the karma-esque debt

Because now I have tasted life with you

And I never wish to again walk this world

Without you

The Light

We say we want to go to the light

We focus on the light

We want to live in the light

So why do we end up in darkness?

Hopelessness

Bathed in gloom and negative ions

We try to be open to a new path, but wind up on the same old ones

How to break this - shatter it to smithereens

This is not a lecture, or a roadmap to success

I am not capable of such things-

It is a cry to the heavens for a chance- a new start - a cosmic mulligan

But sadly this world does not work that way

So instead - 

I will do different -again

Because the same, or more of the same will return us to the dark

And while this 'new' different may wind up on the same dreary path,

It also may not, 

And may lead us to light

And it is that promise - that chance - that hope

That drives me forward.

For you more than anyone else in this world are worth the effort - the fight 

The struggle

Because with light, 

I will be able to see your beauty even more clearly 

And that to me is worth any and all struggle

in it

In it

deep

dirty

It is not always pretty

or like the story books

but

when it comes to you

what it always is

is

Worth it

For loving you takes work and care

But it as it should be

No heaven on earth could grant all you give 

For free

Your love and respect must be earned 

Treated as the gift it truly is

Everyday

I am thankful

Blessed

And

More Deeply in Love

not everything is poetry

some things are just rambling strings of words , and expression  - raw, unfiltered and real
what i feel is irrelevant ant this point.   what i want is as well

i have a beautiful intelligent sexy and vibrant woman who i love and fell in love with who thru the action over a long period of time grew to thk i do not love her and that has elicited real and true hate for me

     i am fighting with what i have - all i have.  i want her to see the love and admiration i hold in my heart
i want her to feel the genuine and real embrace
feel my heart beat next to hers
i want for her to know she is wanted
desired
longed for
dreamt of
oogled over
worshipped

loved

thin ice

far from shore

you hear the crack

you freeze - paralyzed

afraid to move - knowing the odds are it will make it worse

but is it worse than being far from shore alone and cold?

so what to do?

logic is self preservation, but one is a slow death 

the other is a potentially quick one - but with the slimmest of chances of survival

so

time to choose life - 

no matter how short it may be